Willpower? I don't think so.

In the past whenever I started a new diet I mainly relied on willpower alone...and it worked. I had amazing willpower and could resist almost anything: parties, desserts, holidays, restaurants, and temptations from my saboteur girlfriends. lol. I might have one cookie, or an order of fries, but I could hop back on my diet and continue on without any problems and become even more determined to do well. Through each diet I tried I relied on my stubbornness and willpower to see me through to the end. The older I get though it doesn't seem to work that way anymore. I am less hard on myself and much more accepting of my body and my faults. I guess you could say I have more confidence, which is odd, because I am the heaviest I have ever been...Gee, what would I be like if I WAS skinny? I would be dangerous...strutting around in the skimpiest outfits. HAAA!!!! Plus Dr. Phil always says, and I agree, "Willpower comes and goes." Exactly!!!!
The only problem is that each time that I start on a new weight loss venture I rely on some kind of new thought or gimmick to start the motivation process, and the normal things that work aren't working for me anymore. One of those things is weight loss shows such as "The Biggest Loser", and for some strange reason it isn't motivating me at all, in fact, it puts me in kind of a crabby mood and all the contestants seem to get on my nerves...as I watch their individual sob stories I think, "Whatever lady, you are 20 years old would do you have to bitch about?" I know it's mean, but that is what's running through my head, not the usual "Oh poor girl I feel your pain." Another motivation that isn't working for me like it usually does is seeing skinny girls prancing around in their size 2 clothes. I don't don't care, and I am not jealous!!! Man, I thought I would never see the day when that happened. WOW.
So you want to know what my new motivation is??? It's me...and me alone. I want to be thinner and healthier for myself. Seeing what I can do with my body through hard work and some discipline is very exciting to me. I definitely am starting to feel the toll extra weight is having on my body and I want to feel good. I want to have lots and lots of energy, because frankly I don't have near as much as I used to, and it bothers me. I want to be an attractive an adventurous older woman in 20 years, not a chubby 61 year old waiting for a hip replacement. Seriously. Time is going to go by whether I lose weight or not, so while it's flying by I want to be busy getting myself in the best shape of my life!