Well, I think I can officially start one of my New Year's resolutions now. You know, the same resolution I have had every year since I was 2 years old. The resolution where I finally shed all the weight that I want and become a size two, and suddenly every problem that I have ever had goes away, and life is then perfect. Yep, that's it. Actually not at all, and I know from experience...not because I have ever become a size two, damn it, lol, but because whenever I have lost any significant amount of weight it wasn't life-changing enough to keep going to my goal. I had little epiphanies here and there, but nothing that stuck with me or gave me enough incentive to stick with it. Sure, buying smaller and more fashionable clothes was fun, and I had a lot more confidence...I felt better from a health standpoint too, however, none of the pros of losing weight was good enough to keep me there. NOTHING. And so I went back to my old ways. First, it would start with eating more of the "bad foods" that I had been trying to stay away from and felt deprived of. The next step would be cutting down on exercising and not paying close enough attention to my calories that I had to eat each day...and then suddenly...a free-for-all, and all of my good and healthy habits were gone with the wind.
Now it has been a few years since I have lost any weight, and the 50 lbs. that I had lost three years ago is basically back on my body. YIPPEEE!!!! What a waste I think of the year that it took me to lose it all and the hard work I put into it. It makes me soooooo mad!!! But guess what? It does me NO GOOD to get mad...it just depresses and angers me, so what benefit is it to go there? I just need to start it all over again no matter how defeating it feels. I have no choice, I really don't.
So...I think for now, that my blog is going to be focusing a lot on this new "journey" (I hate that word) well, not new, because I have done it a million times, but new in the sense that I am going to try to get it right this time. Let's see.......
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