Monday, April 11, 2011

Well I guess it has been almost 6 weeks now since I started my "diet"...and things are going well, but not as well as I would like them to of course. Going well for me would be 5-7 pounds a week,  not 1-3, even though I know it's healthier to lose more slowly...but whatever. I am grumpy this week. I should have blogged last week when I had lost 5 more pounds, I was feeling hyper and super positive, not like this moment where I wanna scream, "To hell with being thin, it ain't happening and I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!." Damn, it isn't fair, why the heck do I have to deal with this crap? How come it takes me mere minutes to GAIN weight, but weeks, months, and years to lose???? I have decided I hate naturally skinny people and I really wish they would mysteriously drop dead one at a time until they are all wiped off this earth. How can a person who has a ton to lose be at a plateau already? That is  insane. I would prefer to constantly keep dropping pounds until I get to about 20 pounds from my goal, and THEN I can plateau...but I have only lost about 12!!!! OMG!!!! I am not bitter...

So now I am on a pretty regular exercise regime, going from the gym some days to using my treadmill, weights, and elliptical the other times...that's a positive. I was wondering when the urge to exercise on a daily basis would kick in, it took long enough. haha. I'm not saying I enjoy exercising, but it makes me feel like I am actively doing something about my weight loss. Counting calories and eating healthier etc, is essential but I still feel full and bloated which really makes me feel like I am not losing. I know that's crazy by the way and it's just a mind game. I love to weigh myself in the morning when I am naked, starving, and know that I didn't eat much the night before. Wow. I wonder if that's the way anorexics think. Puhleeze...I couldn't be anorexic if I wanted to...plus my body would just assume it's starving and proceed to use the fat stores in my body dating back to 1979. I would probably be the only person on the planet to starve for a month and not drop an ounce.

This just might be the most negative blog everrrrr, so if you are looking for diet inspiration today isn't the day...



2 comments:

  1. Keep the faith! Be healthy and happy.........you'll have grandkids you'll want to play with someday. Maybe even a girl to dress up! Love ya!

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  2. "I have decided I hate naturally skinny people and I really wish they would mysteriously drop dead one at a time until they are all wiped off this earth."

    LOL! Well, isn't this nice! I have heard you tell me I'm "skinny" before, so thanks for the warning! I will tell you this in response. I only eat out 2-3 times per month due to all of the calories in restaurant food, and I always try to make 2 meals out of it. I also exercise quite a bit, and still struggle to keep extra pounds off.
    I also want to congratulate you on the 12 pounds you have lost, I think you're doing great! Don't get discouraged, I know it's not easy to get into a regular exercise routine AND change eating habits, but it sounds like you're determined to do it, be proud!

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