Weight......update.

No, I am not going to reveal my weight as implied in this blogs title. haha...it just rhymed. :) Sooooo, this is what has been going on since my last entry early in June. At this day and time I am down a total of 44 pounds, and I am down 47 from my highest weight ever, which was 3 years ago. I am actually very happy with that number since it has been approximately 5 and a half months since I got down to business and began this, and it might be the fastest that I have ever lost this much. They say once you hit 35 years of age it is much much harder to lose weight and at 41 I don't think that is too shabby. Maybe I am an enigma.

So, what have I done to make the weight loss faster this time? Exercise...not JUST exercise, because I have always, always, ALWAYS exercised when I am trying to lose weight. It's just that this time I have amped up the activity, and tried to incorporate different types of exercise to my routine. Before it was always just a typical 1-2 mile walk every day or treadmilling for a half an hour every day, but this time it has been a lot of different things. I not only use the treadmill, but also the elliptical, the stair-stepper, recumbent bike, free weights, nautilus, exercise classes like Zumba, etc...Not only does it keep me from getting too bored, but it shakes up my metabolism and keeps my body from expecting the same thing which sometimes is the reason for plateaus. I also have sneaked the Master Cleanse in for a few days every once in a while to give my body a jolt and it has worked phenomenally!!! Every time I post on Facebook that I am doing a cleanse I get at least 2 or 3 in-boxes from friends wondering about it and what it entails, have I  lost weight doing it, how much, and most importantly, have I kept it off???? Yep!!! I sure have and I recommend it to anyone who is looking to break through a plateau, lose quickly, or just to jump start a new diet. It isn't easy, and i write about it in previous blogs, but if you are up for it I say DO IT!!!!!!

Ok, so my next goal is to lose 20 pounds by my 42nd birthday, which is in 7 weeks. I think it's doable, but I may have to change up my eating and watch my calories more closely. I don't think I have too many calories daily but I think I may actually not be having enough. For the last few months I have started to exercise twice a day...once during the day or in the morning, and then at night I end the day with a one mile walk. Summer nights are an awesome time to walk outside because it has usually cooled down and feels wonderful!!! I love it! It has been raining a lot lately so I take a flashlight with me so I don't step on any worms or frogs with my sneakers, my biggest fear! Ewww. Those sneakers would have to immediately go in the garbage because there is NO WAY I am cleaning squishy things off of the bottoms...

And last but not least...do I feel healthier??? Are my clothes fitting better??? Do I have more energy??? Yes, yes, and yes! I haven't been for my yearly physical yet, or had my blood levels checked, but I have much more endurance and am definitely able to do things I was absolutely not able to do 5 months ago. Actually, I may be in better shape in my abilities to exercise than I have ever been, even though I am no where close to my lowest weight. As far as clothing goes I am definitely wearing a smaller size and I am able to fit into most of my clothes that have been way too tight for a while. Lastly, I do have more energy, and all of  the things I do are much easier for me now and I get a lot more done with less effort. I am almost looking forward to having a physical and proving to myself that all this work I have done has contributed to greater health and well-being. :)

I know this blog is pretty straight-forward and lacking the usual sarcasm and self-deprecating humor, but it has been kind of a sad summer. My 19 year old nephew died the second week of June suddenly and it has as you would expect, been very hard on my family. Although I am happy to be losing weight, I would put it back on in a second to bring him back...dieting is pretty superficial stuff compared to losing a loved one. My next blog will be touching on the subject of loss. Soooo, that's it for now...I hope everyone is doing well and having a happy and safe summer!

Chocolate, Coffee, & Crazy: My weight loss blog/vlog obsession...

Chocolate, Coffee, & Crazy: My weight loss blog/vlog obsession...: "When you are me, and on a constant weight loss/gain roller coaster, you go through stages...I am either completely obsessed with any and all..."

My weight loss blog/vlog obsession...

When you are me, and on a constant weight loss/gain roller coaster, you go through stages...I am either completely obsessed with any and all things weight loss and health related, or I couldn't give one fish stick about any of those things. I guess it depends on which gear I am in...losing gear or gaining gear. At the moment I am in weight loss mode so I am loving any weight loss show, articles on success stories, blogs and YouTube vlogs, etc. Basically anything that will inspire me and keep me motivated is my friend these days. I have even begun looking up videos for the best arm exercises for women and the most popular interval exercises for burning calories. Shocking, I know, even to me. It must be working though because I have lost 30 pounds since I started this "journey" (hate that word) and I am very happy about that. It may even be more, but I didn't start weighing myself right away because I was scared to death to find out what I weighed. lol. I also know that I am down 35 from my highest weight ever which is definitely a good thing. Yay.

Now to wrap up the cleanse that I did last month, I ended up losing 13 pounds total during that 7 days. I kept if off for a few weeks and continued eating very healthy and exercising. Suddenly however I gained 4 of it back, which I know is normal and expected because it is probably just water, but I was not happy about that. Within a week I was able to get it off again. Whew. Since finishing the cleanse I have lost an additional 4 pounds, bringing me to a total of 30 pounds lost. I have been exercising like a contestant on The Biggest Loser and really pushing myself with cardio and strength training. Intervals have always been a great tool for me to burn calories and lose weight faster so I have been doing those consistently. I am a red-faced sweaty mess after I finish one, but it feels sooooo good. If you don't know what an interval is it is an exercise that you can do on just about any machine; treadmill, bike, elliptical, or stair climber...the point is to fluctuate your heart rate between as high as you can get it and a resting heart rate by increasing and decreasing your exercise, alternating back and forth. It isn't easy at first and you want to die, but it kind of ends up being fun. I get bored sometimes on the treadmill, but if you are switiching up your settings and constantly changing what you are doing you really don't have a chance to get bored. Pair it with great music that you love and motivates you and woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Who am I? I don't recognize this new attitude, but I really like it!!!!
Now about weight loss vlogs on YouTube...O.M.G. I love them!!! I feel like a stalker because there are some that I follow and keep up with regularly, I feel like I know these people. lol. Some vlogs are very inspiring and give great advice, and then there are some that will bore the tears out of you. I want to hear about your weight loss journey, I don't care that you have allergies and that you had to take your stupid cat to the vet. No offense. Sometimes it's sad because a person will start off so gung ho about their diet and will have video after video, but then all of a sudden they are gone and you realize their videos were from like 2 years ago, so the only thing you can think is, "The poor girl gave up and just disappeared...I wonder if they gained it all back." And then there are the people ( I only watch women's vlogs) that look like I want to look like when I am done... and you think, really????? You are vlogging about having to lose 12 pounds?? Just shut up and go away. lol. I know that even thin people may have some weight that they want to lose but seriously I have no patience for them and in NO WAY do I find them motivating. The people that are motivating are the ones that need to lose at least 50+...in MY opinion anyway. Oh, and the craziest vlogs are the vlogs where people pose in their UNDERWEAR and model how they look at each angle!!! They do this of course to keep a record of their progress, but OMG, I could never do that. How freakin' embarrassing. Some don't even suck it in, they just let it alllllllllll hang out. It totally cracks me up...but even the chubbo's that pose have comments under their video from people saying things like, "Damn girl you look good, I like a thick woman."  It is so funny, I love it!!! Don't expect to see me doing it. I am secretly jealous of their confidence because it would be nice to have a video record of before and after etc. but I am afraid if I see it on film I will go jump off a bridge or something. lol

Ok, so my next goal is to lose another 15 pounds before I go to Dallas at the beginning of January. I know that sounds like a lot of weight to lose in 3 weeks, but I will probably add a 7 day cleanse in that time to really shed some weight off. I can't believe I am saying that but there were so many great things about the cleanse and I am definitely willing to try it again. I am going to be attending a wedding in Dallas with my husband and today I found a really cute dress for it. It looks ok now, but with another 10 pounds at least it will really look awesome. It is a short sleeved lower-cut black dress and I really love it...I even like how I look in it, and it is sort of form fitting. YIKES!!!! :)

The Cleanse.................UGH.

  So one day as I am surfing YouTube for video blogs about weight loss, different diets, before and after pictures etc. and I came across a video diary about "The Master Cleanse"...otherwise known as "The Lemonade Diet."  Just out of curiosity I began to watch the series of daily updates from this one particular girl, she seemed very perky and upbeat about the whole thing and aside from a few complaints acted like it was the easiest thing in the world. I then watched several other video blogs about this diet, amazed at the willpower of these women and how much weight they were losing in such a short period of time. I began to think, "Gee it doesn't seem that hard and it would definitely be nice to not have to think about what I am eating for 10 days," because basically you are just drinking the lemonade mixture and drinking an herbal tea laxative every night. Not only did the quick weight loss sound appealing but it seemed like a very healthy thing to do: getting rid of toxins built up in the body and cleaning my digestive system out. So that is what I did, and this is how it went...

First thing is that you should probably buy the book because it explains the whole process, why each ingredient in the juice is necessary, side effects, etc. etc. I noticed that the tone of the author of this book is a tad bit self righteous and it is clear he is one of those "Organic, vegan, cleansing maniac" types, so I took it with a grain of salt because of course HE thinks that everyone should try this. The first mention about how long to do the cleanse he says that lots of people do it for 40 days. Ummm, not this people, are you freaking nuts? Then he proceeds to say that 10 days should be enough to get the maximum benefits and that is generally the norm. Yeah buddy, and I am going to be lucky if I can do that!!!!

Day 1: Of course this day goes well because I am a little excited about it and have not had any deep hunger pangs yet, so I drink my juice like a good little freak and my herbal tea. I have to say that the juice isn't bad at all, it basically tastes like lemonade...although the cayenne pepper gives it a little kick and I feared that I was going to get VERYYY sick of that ingredient. I was right. Day 2: I have had to servings of the herbal laxative tea and I am expecting to have a very scary day of "eliminations and BM's"...but honestly nothing out of the ordinary happened, except a few more than usual. :) I kept hearing horror stories about the things that came out of people so I was expecting the worst. Day 2 was pretty hard. I got very hungry and was starting to get crabby. Uh oh. I also felt sort of depressed and deprived...not sure how long I could stick with it. Day 3: Better than day 2, a little hunger and I am starting to get verrrry sick of the lemonade. It was becoming harder to slam down. Not as grumpy, but definitely on edge. Day 4: Met my girlfriend at the gym and had a huge burst of energy...I need to say that the first few days I was super tired, but then again I got my period on day 3 so that probably had something to do with it. Sooo I had a great workout and felt much less tired today, was beginning to think I might be able to go longer...but also contemplating stopping so I could enjoy my weekend and eat fooooood again. Day 5: Thought about stopping but then my husband complained about how many lemons and limes I had left...so in a fit of rage I flipped out and basically said I wouldn't dare stop until every last damn lemon and lime were gone. I was, uhhh, very irrational. I then continued with the cleanse even though the thought of one more sip of the juice was grossing me out and the cayenne pepper just seemed unbearable to drink. I am starting to hate everyone that can eat! I am jealous that everyone can have food but me! I am bitter and feel SOOOOO sorry for myself that I can't eat...a...morsel. This is I know, ridiculous, because I decided to start this cleanse. This is MY choice. Yet I have a grudge against anyone that eats, every food commercial, every smell from a restaurant in a parking lot...everything!!!!!! Day 6: I wake up pretty early and don't feel tired so I meet my husband and son at the gym and had a good workout, and then came home and had some juice. You are supposed to have at minimum 6 servings of the lemonade and up to 8 or 10, but I can barely get to 7 servings without being disgusted. lol. I am going to go to at least day 8 and then I will probably stop and then transition to the foods that the book suggests: fresh squeezed orange juice, vegetable soup broth, fruit salad etc...so in my opinion I am still doing it (the cleanse) because you are not supposed to just go back to real solids or "bad foods" right away. I think the author would be happy if I just never ate again...

To end on a happy note, in 6 days I have lost about 12 pounds. YAYYYY!!! Of course everyone says that I will gain it back right away as soo as I start eating...Debbie Downers...I am not planning on it though, I figure If I go back to my 1400 calories a day and exercising why the hell would I gain it back???? I would understand if I gain 1 or 2 pounds of water, but I do NOT intend to gain all 12 plus whatever I lose in the next 2 days back. No way Jose'. So I will update everyone on the end of the cleanse and my results. Wish me luck or please just pray that I don't kill anyone before this is over. :)

Well I guess it has been almost 6 weeks now since I started my "diet"...and things are going well, but not as well as I would like them to of course. Going well for me would be 5-7 pounds a week,  not 1-3, even though I know it's healthier to lose more slowly...but whatever. I am grumpy this week. I should have blogged last week when I had lost 5 more pounds, I was feeling hyper and super positive, not like this moment where I wanna scream, "To hell with being thin, it ain't happening and I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!." Damn, it isn't fair, why the heck do I have to deal with this crap? How come it takes me mere minutes to GAIN weight, but weeks, months, and years to lose???? I have decided I hate naturally skinny people and I really wish they would mysteriously drop dead one at a time until they are all wiped off this earth. How can a person who has a ton to lose be at a plateau already? That is  insane. I would prefer to constantly keep dropping pounds until I get to about 20 pounds from my goal, and THEN I can plateau...but I have only lost about 12!!!! OMG!!!! I am not bitter...

So now I am on a pretty regular exercise regime, going from the gym some days to using my treadmill, weights, and elliptical the other times...that's a positive. I was wondering when the urge to exercise on a daily basis would kick in, it took long enough. haha. I'm not saying I enjoy exercising, but it makes me feel like I am actively doing something about my weight loss. Counting calories and eating healthier etc, is essential but I still feel full and bloated which really makes me feel like I am not losing. I know that's crazy by the way and it's just a mind game. I love to weigh myself in the morning when I am naked, starving, and know that I didn't eat much the night before. Wow. I wonder if that's the way anorexics think. Puhleeze...I couldn't be anorexic if I wanted to...plus my body would just assume it's starving and proceed to use the fat stores in my body dating back to 1979. I would probably be the only person on the planet to starve for a month and not drop an ounce.

This just might be the most negative blog everrrrr, so if you are looking for diet inspiration today isn't the day...

Finally...

Finally...After going on and on for the last 2 months about starting a healthy lifestyle and weight loss resolution I have actually done something about it...Good grief it took long enough, not that this is any surprise to me. They always say that you have to be ready emotionally to start a diet, not just intellectually, so I think blabbing about it for a while gets me going and then eventually I get sick of saying, "I am going to start Monday."

I don't think I even started on a Monday this time, it may have been a Sunday, not sure...I woke up with a strange desire to weigh myself, HAHAHAAAA!!!! I couldn't believe it either. I was thinking about NOT weighing because it would be too traumatic, and just going by how my clothes fit...but I knew that wouldn't be motivating enough. I needed a starting point and some kind of clue as to what my body weighs compared to the last time I started a diet (about 3 years ago) Fortunately it wasn't as tragic as I had thought, I weighed about 6 pounds less starting this time. Woohoo! Not wonderful news because I still gained 44 pounds back of the 50 that I had lost, but I think I would have passed out If I had gained it all back and then some. I am obviously holding on to any good shreds of information so I don't think about the fact that this is the millionth time I have gained most of my weight back after a diet. :(

So here I am, it has been about 10 days of watching my calories. I haven't worked in much exercise yet because I knew eating healthy would be jarring enough on my psyche so I wanted to do a step at a time. I have gone to the gym a few times, but I need to go a heck of a lot more if I am going to see good results. I have lost about 4 pounds so far which seems slow compared to the start of my last diet where I lost 7 pounds in one week. I am sure it has something to do with being overly tired, having a bad cold, and very little exercise. I originally was going to do low carb or the 17 day diet deal they are always talking about on Dr. Phil, but my husband convinced me to just watch my calories instead of going with a set plan. I have been using fitday.com which is a good tool for charting out your days calories, etc. You put in your weight and what you want to weigh, and by when, and it gives you how many calories you must consume each day to reach that goal. I put in a severe weight loss goal and right away it reprimanded me for trying to lose more than 2 pounds a week. Well sorry Charlie...2 pounds a week is brutally slow...I will be 80 by the time I get to my goal. lol. I would like to lose a significant amount of weight by the start of summer. Ahem, what woman doesn't have that goal, please...

The good news? It hasn't been that hard...eating healthier and less calories...I actually haven't been too grumpy, which is good news for my kids. Luckily my husband was in South America that week so he escaped the wrath of Jill starting a diet...I am sure he was relieved. I am starting to notice my clothes fitting a tad looser, I feel less bloated...all good things. I think my next plan of action is to make a goal board of motivating images to look at when I am contemplating making chocolate chip cookies or skipping the gym. It sounds hokey and I usually make fun of people that make one of those but I am thinking it must do something otherwise people wouldn't do it...So, like a geek, I will find pictures of women whose figures I covet and dig through magazine to find pictures of clothes that I would love to wear but have too much pride to put on. I know it's a free country and I can wear tank tops etc., but I also "personally" think you need to look a certain way to be able to wear those things. I don't care if 99% of the female population decides to bare their upper arms, but JIll, will not unless she feels comfortable with the way it is presented...no wobbly lunch lady arms on this woman...nooo sireeee...

Februaryyyyyyy

So far I have made it through this February without having a complete nervous breakdown...the reason I say that is because February is for some unknown reason always very hard on me. I know part of it could be that I start to feel like a caged animal after the previous 3 months of hibernating in the house...and Rochester New York is not exactly known for it's sunny days through the winter, it's more like gray and blehhhhhh...I mean January is usually a breeze because I am tired and relieved somewhat that Christmas and all the other Holidays are over, so I relax, enjoy my Christmas trees and decorations, and try to do cozy homey things. February comes blasting in and I realize I have not started my diet and that spring is NOT just around the corner, but still many months away. Wait, let me get this straight...we have no spring...it just goes from winter into summer sometime in late June. So then a week or so into February I get kind of anxious and panicky...you should have seen me last February...I was pretty close to checking myself into a mental institution. Seriously. I don't know, maybe the Packers, my favorite team (we lived in Green Bay for 7 years) being in the Super Bowl, and then WINNING the Super Bowl kept my spirits up...and I went on a girls trip to NYC for four days which was an absolute blast!!! Now in two days my sons and I are going to Texas for spring break which we will spend with my husband and their father who lives there part time. We will be in Dallas a few days and then San Antonio for a few days. Fun! I just have to finish packing and get all 3 of us there in one piece. Yuckkkk, not looking forward to traveling alone with my kids...at alllllllllll. Once I get to Dallas then I can relax and start to enjoy myself.
Ok, enough with this boring post!!!! When I get my fat behind back here I am going to get really serious about my weight...S.E.R.I.O.U.S...I don't care if it is absolute torture, it's going to happen. A new way of eating, a new exercise routine...I am actually going to use my gym membership, I may even wear it OUT!!!
So get ready for it.